Friday Thoughts

  • Almost every song by Duskus makes me feel weird. Weird like in the chill-to-my-bone-what-is-my-place-on-this-earth-I-can-feel-every-emotion-at-once kind of weird. I can be sitting in my room and a Duskus song will come on and I will feel just straight lost. 

Listen to this. Chills.

  • I have noticed, however subtle it may be, that my family seems to be watching their tongue around me because they are slightly worried that I might just ruthlessly expose them on my blog. It feels good to be king. 
  • I started to go to Starbucks to write these blog posts. This makes me feel really old but at the same time it also makes me feel like an inexperienced three year old trying to use a fork – I don’t really know what I am doing.

  • Thrift stores are fucking amazing. I found some gems when I went with my friend this week. Seriously 7 pieces of clothing for like 13 dollars. Nuts.
  • I’ve been doing a lot of hiking lately. I really love it – tons of fun.
  • Speaking of hiking, yesterday I got back from a two-day Mt. Whitney climb with my Dad. We both made the summit, but barely. To be completely honest, I expected it to be fairly easy, but was surprised to find that not only was it physically strenuous, but it was VERY dangerous. I learned that my father does not do well in high altitudes (hallucinating) which made it even scarier. All in all, I reached the summit and lived to tell the story. But man I think I am gonna stay off of my feet for a while. 

    • Here is a pic of me being cozy af at base campcozy af
  • On that note, earlier in the week I went on a backpacking trip for 3 days with some friends and we did cool shit like walk a lot. And fish. And walk more.
  • I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that I will be leaving for college soon. And with that I am starting to realize that I have already spent the majority of time that I will ever spend with my parents, family, childhood friends, and pretty much all other things that I hold close. Honestly, this is really depressing me.
  • One of my closest friends left for college today. I said bye to him last night and it was just an awkward-sad-hope-to-see-you-soon-but-we-probably-wont kind of goodbye.
  • Crepes are good
  • One of the most frustrating things in the world has to be getting fishing line tangled in a fishing rod. This happened to me 3 times during my backpacking trip earlier this week before I finally just gave up and stopped fishing.
  • I ordered a skateboard on Amazon a few days ago. I have 0 skateboarding experience. Is there such a thing as a mid-mid-life crisis?
  • In an effort to become somewhat cultured and ‘interesting’ I decided to learn spanish. I sucked at spanish in high school. Sucked. I started Duolingo three weeks ago and now I can say like 5 sentences. Hablo un poco de espanol!
  • Despite the above bullet point, I still think we should have one universal language that everyone speaks. I don’t care if that affects world culture or whatever. I think a universal language would come with huge economic benefits (no language barriers = more trade).
  • Part of the reason I think a universal language is needed is because of the book I am currently reading – The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman. It will make you think of human progress from a completely new perspective. Food for thought x 1,000,000.
  • These last two bullet points made me realize that I am actually pretty damn passionate about having a universal language. I think I will write more about it in the future.
  • I am still writing this blog post in Starbucks. About an hour ago this 20ish year old man came in and sat down at the table next to me and just fell asleep. He didn’t even buy a coffee or anything. He literally just walked in and put his head down and fell asleep. Dude is still sleeping.
  • Also, there is this baby like two tables over who won’t shut up. I wonder what would happen if I screamed back at the baby.
  • When I am at parties I have this habit of randomly pulling my phone out and writing in my notes what is going on in my head at that moment. They are hilarious to read the next day, but probably not appropriate to share on my blog.
  • Whenever I drive I blast music and sing along. This has led to some seriously awkward encounters with other drivers. Like 3 hours ago when I was driving to this coffee shop. Unbeknownst to me, this lady was staring at me and laughing  while I sang “It’s Strange” at the top of my lungs at a red light. I saw her and immediately shut my mouth and turned my music off.
  • JESUS CHRIST SOMEONE SHUT THIS BABY UP PLEASE.
  •  I went to Denny’s with my friend last night at 1 AM. I ordered the Lumberjack Slam. It was a strange experience.
  • I have come to the conclusion, with nearly 100% certainty that despite me having been brought up a Roman Catholic all of my life, I am really a Jewish boy. Not in terms of religion of course, but rather, in the general stereotype that comes along with being a Jewish boy. I definitely fit that mold.
  • Here’s a picture of me holding a peanutpic of me holding a peanit
  • Oh, and also this happenedIMG_1831

 

I am glad it is Friday.

Monday Thoughts

I was stuck in traffic this morning on my way to a chiropractor appointment and while on the freeway it occurred to me that people who drive motorcycles in between cars are straight up crazy. Especially dudes on motorcycles that maintain a constant speed of like 50+ mph while passing cars that are literally stopped in traffic. How badly do you have to hate living in order to do this to yourself? I’m slightly in awe, but I am also really jealous that I can’t do that in my car. I’m sure it saves time, but I find it so hard to believe that the amount of casualties and injuries that come from these maneuvers aren’t staggeringly high.

What if ‘Man Crush Monday’ was literally just photos of men being tragically crushed to death? Imagine people posting pictures on social media sites of a guy being crushed by a boulder or something and tagging it with #mancrushmonday.

After checking some stories on Snapchat and seeing a group of girls, who were all together at a restaurant each post an individual picture of their sandwich on their Snapchat story, I couldn’t help but wonder why it seems like so many girls post pictures on social media sites of themselves ‘enjoying’ an experience but really being focused solely on their social media image. To me it seems unbelievably superficial. In the past I have been around some female friends whether it be at a lake, on a hike, or at a beach, and it seems like they don’t have any fun at all. They literally are too focused on taking a million pictures of themselves smiling and laughing, but they fail to actually experience anything. Not all girls are like this, but it seems like the vast majority of the ones I know are. Bummer.

I had dinner with my family last night at a nice restaurant. Food was great, company was good, conversation was shit. The reason why is because for an hour and a half my mother and two sisters were in a heated discussion about whether or not Kristen Stewart was a natural blonde. As my dad and I blankly stared at each other with the same annoyance, I thought how in the hell it was possible that people could care so much about small details in the lives of others that they don’t even know. Wtf.

I don’t know if I am the only one who has realized this – but Starbucks ice is absolutely unreal. If you have ever left an iced drink from Starbucks in your car during a hot summer day, you will know exactly what I am talking about. The ice doesn’t melt for like 7 hours. Gawd damn magic. Bravo Starbucks.

Speaking of Starbucks, I’m an incoming college freshman and last week I had to attend an orientation session. In the beginning, we were broken up into groups of about 20 and had to go around the group and introduce ourselves, along with a pet peeve and a fact about ourselves. The people before me stood up and introduced themselves, with a really cool fact, like ‘having climbed X mountains’, or accomplishing some other incredible feat. They also listed some generic, normal sounding pet peeve, like ‘people who chew with their mouths open’, or ‘people who click their pen in class’ or something. Then it was my turn. And of course, I get up, say “Hi my name is Jack” and then proceed to sound like an absolute retard when I enthusiastically  pointed out that my biggest pet peeve was when people cut me in line in the Starbuck’s drive thru. If that doesn’t sound weird enough, the fun fact that I came up with about myself was that I “like fruit snacks.” Dammit Jack.

How am I supposed to act when someone says “I want to show you this really cool video I just found!” Maybe it’s just me, but I always find situations like this so awkward. I usually just end up watching whatever it is that they want to show me with a fake smile on my face, and every 30 seconds say something like “Oh my god that’s sick” or “Woah, that is so cool.” I then wrap things up by pretending to be absolutely blown away from whatever it is they just showed me. 

The other night I awoke in a cold sweat at like 3 in the morning after having an absolutely terrifying dream. In the dream, the cookie monster was a psycho-terrorist-criminal. The dream took place in the rural Middle East and it felt so real. The cookie monster was holding people hostage for cookies and beheading people in public town squares, exactly like Isis. There was a cookie monster revolution and cookies were being withheld from the cookie monster’s, so they held public demonstrations to those withholding the cookies. And then all of a sudden, the dream flashed to a busy intersection, where a cookie monster doused himself in gasoline and lit himself on fire. Exactly like that insane Vietnamese monk did in 1963. The cookie monster’s demanded all the cookies in the world, or they vowed to continue reigning terror. The cookie monsters banded together and created a huge caliphate that was slowly taking over the Middle East. Obama referred to them as the ‘JV team’ in a press conference he held and told the American public not to worry about them.

My dream is kinda hard to explain via text, so I drew a few pictures to better depict the torment I experienced that night.

Cookie monster beheadingIMG_1193Cookie monster squad

It’s been a strange couple of days.

Selling my Sister on Craigslist

Selling my sister on craigslist

Funny how occupying the same womb can bound people together for life.

You can love them (rare) and you can hate them (frequent), but no matter how you feel, chances are you are going to spend a lot of time with that person / people.

I’m talking about siblings if you haven’t caught on.

I am the only male child, sandwiched in between two girls – my older sister Elizabeth, and my younger sister Caroline.

They are both little shits.

They do things that get on my nerves almost 24/7. Especially Caroline. Things like ruining an entire TV series that they have already watched and you are just starting, or emptying a tube of toothpaste on your pillow because you wore their socks to school that day. See what I’m getting at?

Anyways, lately Caroline has been especially ticking me off. So, being a completely sane and rational person, I did what all other completely sane and rational people would do – I tried to sell her on Craigslist.

Caroline Craigslist Ad

Now before you think I am an awful person, just realize that I took all possible precautions and provided an accurate description of her so that the potential buyer would know how to properly care for Caroline.

I included her dietary schedule (3 meals a day) as well as her exercise habits (daily walk).

Honestly, I think I am doing a good thing by selling her. To be quite frank, I was tired of the thing. It was great when I first got it, but I just found myself not playing with it as much as I originally thought I would. By selling Caroline, I’m giving her the opportunity to go to a home that might give her the care and attention that she (probably) deserves.

Also, I am a broke college student. I don’t have the money to provide for such an expensive thing. Plus I could use that $50 for a good cause, like a new pair of flip-flops or something.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said “Preach love, not hate. Sell your siblings if they get on your nerves.” So I did just that.

Thanks MLK.


By the way she is still up for sale, leave your contact info in the comments and we’ll talk.